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What do I have to look forward for

by Charlie Paso

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pukkajbaby
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pukkajbaby work hard play harder player do more stuff by candle light dwell in a mirage stack big cups spill into a drain Favorite track: Lungs.
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1.
Worse 02:17
Home on the range I'll pick up Could you even leave home Anyways.. Talking talking my sin is serious Hoping everyone is as serious, as you Everything I'm getting out of it Every wound I'm trying to suppress Come for comfort, and stay over I'm coming back Don't you get bad Then things got worse Things got worse At a line, I'm fishing for you With a phrase, I'm getting used to being mad Oh so bad, then things they got worse Oh so bad, then things they got worse Doing laps, to keep my head out Of headache water
2.
Carefaking 02:24
Waiting for some It's been so long The ones I copy and taste Give up, give up Relinquish his gaze Just flushed, not drunk I'll give it away By yelling, no telling me what to erase I'm trying not trying I'll be at your place Give me some air Trust fall myself Falling off of the chair Picking up after this Year of hell Not trusting not recycling Not even a care I'm taking, carefaking my repair
3.
daddy long leg died, sat on his side like a table, nice to put things on morning pages are my own prayer put on my pink underwear, i think digging in dirt with bread tie bends what comes is hurt what stays will mend over or on, pariah puppy dog scratching on like state lines whispering words of solid results tend to his eyes not good enough working is not working working is not working working is not working working is not working whispering words, solid results threw a kiss on your wrinkles ripple, ripple over once still water when I forget the look of your eyes, I'm weak again what she said still live by what you meant to the moon and back to the moon and back to the moon and back to the moon and back
4.
Black dog 2 03:31
Life's too short to make my mouth talk From satan nothing just fuck off, fuck off The big black dog died He'll always be by my side
5.
I sit in my red room I breathe in the dead perfume Trace the number 6 on your wall Never gave it a second thought And I fell in, deep Being anything that you need I'll think, and I'll be right where you want and I'll Help, myself If it's this easy I'll talk to no one else If the shore stays this breezy Dive into every cocoon Honey you're scaring me This is the last time this week I have, no one else left to thank Maybe in some time this will all blow over Oh well, that's just how we all feel Get some help, and you wont feel a thing Walking down, every part about you reminds me of home I doubt it, I pouted, I felt the crickets swell They closed my eyelids But your closing the red bin And I'll lie until its over I love you till the end
6.
In an out of love it's just a hopeless monologue I swear I'm dead it's killing me Life's too short I know, I'm dead it's killing me Unwind, inhale it It's awful quiet on thin legs When they become their own pillars You can stand anyway you want still get sore Often eager, always tracing a path From your neckline, lung angel To the back of your neck Guardian angel
7.
Interlude 01:36
8.
WYW 06:07
I'm the only void I've known A bounce house home Got a way of losing blood Into the surf I run I hope this comes across nice But if it doesn't float There's always ice Maybe there's not enough Maybe there's too much Maybe you're alive Maybe you're alive It's sacred the way I'm losing speed Look over and grab on your shaking knees Indebted honest in his routines Like me, like you I'm trying It doesn't seem to hurt you Think too much Think it all comes in threes I know not much is up to me Piss stream is white Everything is alright And I die when I dream And I dream that when I die Piss stream is white Everything is alright Think too much Think it all comes in threes I know not much is up to me Like me, Like you I'm trying It doesn't seem to hurt you Think too much Think it all comes in threes I know not much is up to me
9.
all the stars, wishing they could fly leaving you haunted to burn like chicken fried thinking in the car, head holding up puking out the window of your car puking out the window of your heart (ha) you're my best friend lemme tell you what it's like all the clouds sifting their raindrops on my head as quickly as I could fall in my heart as quickly as I could turn it on gone down like lights down, I'd hit the fuse I'm confused darling, I'm confused darling what is that white noise clouding my halo what does that mean when you're alone keep thinking the same thoughts have no idea where they lead looking at the bark to find some grounding but lightning is all I need, a fight is all I need hard pills you take, hard pill to swallow again and again and again I am a tree spreading water underground I am a tree spreading water around I am a tree
10.
Big fish 05:31
There's not a cloud above the city that's raining on my head when I go through the crack above the forest could you hold it's hand when I look through the treeline where the longleafs climb save the glory for us, all is lust that hurts him bad it hurt me bad it calls her bad won't hurt you back crying, with flower covered hands needing my bed needing my bed needing my bed needing that hurts him bad it hurt me bad it calls her back won't hurt you back you save some you take some you save none, oxygen needing shade give and let go, you stay waiting on a big fish tell a friend, to waste it shut me off, pose real quick what a shift, what a shift
11.
Lungs 03:33
I feel like my sight is misguided I feel like my lungs have had too much excitement I'm just the honest child, I'm just an honest boy Who's nostalgia kicks him at all the wrong times Now I forgot how to breathe that night But it won't happen again I swear I'm smarter than this, I swear I'm smarter than this But I still get scared, and I wish you would come It's all I think about and in my mind I'm dumb I feel like this glove just might be wrong Just because, I wish you were here Learning to retain water Foot presses the drain, just harder To push through the waffle The thoughts of something awful Kisses all the same Press on my lips and I retain the same water A feeling out of need and not fodder Bay and bay and bay I think I'll find solitude in my disdain Succumb to the same things I wish I could get away
12.
Like water 06:36
Looking for a gaze I’m lost in a game A mirror maze Lost in all the nice to know you wells It’s real I’ll chase it on my face, I’ll trace it filling up the pile dirt in my eye dirt everywhere I go I am slow i am slow hung my heart in the grass will it grow? I don’t know I don’t know Now I know I am slow I am slow Black dog You don’t know what you mean Black dog You don’t know what you mean monarch kid how are you holding up I’ll always be slow give a little bit, it’s gifts it’s gifts it comes and it grows space odyssey not really I am right here not tryna leave forgiving, I really don’t mind this hell I really don’t mind this hell spill out, spill out, spill out, spill out like water, like god like a dog like a dog I’m fading, like water Like a dog, Like a dog I’m fading, like water Like god Stuffed it back in and got to thinking about doing this more often You gotta get out of my face I swear to fucking god, like water I am holy Now I’m sitting on a nice bouquet of lavender Smelling it for memory when coming home The same smell I’m used to, not lithium Like brand new Water Babe are you, Like water Like god My body moves on My body is god

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released June 11, 2023

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Charlie Paso Raleigh, North Carolina

Crazy

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